Wanting to share your story and build shame resistance? Here's some steps to do so.

watsonville calif Apr 15, 2023
"One day you will tell your story of how you overcame and what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide." - Brene Brown
This quote from Brene Brown has empowered me as I follow my personal journey of uplifting and helping women heal from their pasts. I admire her work as a PhD psychologist and her studies of shame in human behavior for the past decade. 
Research has shown that we frequently deal with shame in three unhealthy ways:
  • We distance ourselves from other people by hiding our true selves, withdrawing from our relationships, and keeping secrets.
  • We try to please those around us so that we can “earn back” our worthiness. 
  • We feel depressed and anxious. Shame can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and codependency. 
Often our personal stories are kept in the dark to hide the shame or fear of being judged. Shame can be a devastating emotion that leads to depression and can lead to addictions and self destructive behaviors. This is why sharing your story has such a powerful healing component. It helps release shame.
When I collected and told the stories of the 30 women in my just released Amazon #1 best selling book, 'Zesty Changes' many of those stories had not seen the light of day for decades.  All the women reported feeling a great relief from telling their stories publicly. It was as if a great burden had been finally lifted off their shoulders.
Here are steps you can take to share your story and build shame resistance.
Step 1: Learn how shame manifests for you so that you can quickly identify and address it. Is your story creating shame?
Step 2: Identify and evaluate the root cause of your shame. Does your shame come from not meeting societal expectations—for example, body shame? Is it from trauma that you have not dealt with?
Step 3: Challenge the societal messages that equate imperfection with inadequacy. Reject the idea that if you make mistakes or have flaws this automatically makes you “not enough.” 
Step 4: Talk to someone trustworthy about your feelings of shame. If you refuse to talk about your shame it will fester and consume you. Finding someone to share your story with will set you free.
Step 5: Avoid unhealthy reactions to shame like overeating, alcohol abuse, and isolation. Consider whether the unhealthy response is shame based.
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This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. Check with your health care provider before adopting any health, food, diet or exercise activity.
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