Wanting to share your story and build shame resistance? Here's some steps to do so.

"One day you will tell your story of how you overcame and what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide." - Brene Brown
 
This quote from Brene Brown has empowered me as I follow my personal journey of uplifting and helping women heal from their pasts. I admire her work as a PhD psychologist and her studies of shame in human behavior for the past decade. 
Research has shown that we frequently deal with shame in three unhealthy ways:
 
  • We distance ourselves from other people by hiding our true selves, withdrawing from our relationships, and keeping secrets.
  • We try to please those around us so that we can “earn back” our worthiness. 
  • We feel depressed and anxious. Shame can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and codependency. 
 
Often our personal stories are kept in the dark to hide the shame or fear of being judged. Shame can be a devastating emotion that leads to depression and can lead to...
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Is it time to revitalize your life?

It takes a lot of strength to realize that you need to make changes for yourself to live healthier and happier. But how can you tell the difference between a rough patch and a need to revitalize your life?
We all go through periods of darkness. Ups and downs are a natural part of life, and in your mature years you’ve had your fair share of them.

Because you’re used to this, it makes it easy to tell yourself things will get better one day, when what you REALLY need to do is put in the work to make sure you can find the light on the other side. Not everything changes on its own! Are you finding this time has left you feeling a bit disconnected? Is it time to find more self-love? Is it time to find some help to guide you in rewilding your life? 
 
Here are 6 signs that you’re in need of a change.
  1. You feel self-critical. 
  2. You don't honor your achievements.
  3. You are having difficulty creating a routine of self-care. 
  4. You feel anxious and...
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It's all in your commitment and your mindset to forgive.

You’re learning to let go of anger and lead a more peaceful life. But what about the final step…forgiveness?
It can seem impossible when someone has harmed you deeply to move on from what they’ve done. Even if they’re someone that you’d want an amicable relationship with in the future, forgiveness can feel out of reach. 
The truth about forgiveness is that it isn’t for the other person. It’s for YOU and the peace that it will bring you so you can release the pain of what happened and focus on the future. 
How can you mend relationships with the people who hurt you or come to terms with what happened if closure isn’t an option?
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." - Martin Luther King
A recipe for forgiveness. It's all in your commitment and your mindset to forgive.
1 cup of kindness. 3 cups compassion. 1 cup forgetful heart. 4...
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Break the anger cycle.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of anger, I hope this will help you on the path to healing.
I found myself boiling with anger and bitterness after my divorce. It didn’t just affect me, but also the people around me. I noticed that less people wanted to talk to me or be around me because all I could do was express my resentment about my ex. This was my wake up call that I needed to learn how to release these negative feelings.
Anger isn’t meant to weigh you down, but to teach you that someone has violated a boundary. From there, it’s up to you to acknowledge it and manage your emotions, not let them eat at you. Not releasing anger can also damage your heart!
You might hold anger for someone who has wronged you, whether that be a previous spouse, friend, or family member. Here are 5 ways you can break the anger cycle:


1. Take deep breaths. This is a physical reaction that signals the brain that you’re safe and helps you calm down.
2. Take a time out. If...
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It's time to be who you are meant to be.

How do you separate yourself from the person you were to the person you are now?

Often when we go through traumatic experiences, we’re fundamentally changed. We can no longer see the world the way we once did, for better or for worse. There’s a grieving period that comes with trying to figure out who you are now.
 
I’ve been through several experiences myself, which I detail in length in my upcoming book Zesty Changes. These five things have helped me to reconcile with my old life vs my new life, whether that’s been from giving up my daughter for adoption, going through divorces, or becoming so sick I almost lost my life.
 
  • Create a daily practice of gratitude.
  • Recite daily positive affirmations.
  • Get outside and walk noticing what is beautiful.
  • Enjoy a get dressed routine, choose colorful, happy clothing.
  • Connect with a treasured friend who will let you vent.
 
You’ll find even more lessons and tips like these in Zesty Changes....
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Don't let negative feelings weigh you down.

Forgiveness isn’t an easy topic, especially if you’ve found yourself stuck in a cycle of anger and resentment. 
I had to learn how to forgive people many times in my life, including my daughter’s biological father and exes who hurt me. It’s led to a life full of freedom and zest, where I am no longer weighed down by those negative feelings. 
Here are 5 tips to help you forgive someone who has caused you pain.

1. When finding forgiveness for exes, remember you share experiences that shaped your lives. List some good things from the relationship, think of 'the good Karma break up'. 
2. If you are really angry go to a remote spot and growl, scream, throw sticks, do whatever it takes to let it out.
3. Keep yourself active, work out, do yoga, walk, get up, get dressed, and get out. 
Keep your self-care more important than your self-pity.
4. Don't keep taking the poison of victim hood. It isn't hurting him, it's killing you.
Find some way you can...
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